The Auditions
The first step in the process, and it’s great telly! Most of them are a load of rubbish (but that's what makes it funny!) and some of them are alright, but better than the contestantsi is the constant bickering between Simon, Sharon and Louis! This year does not disappoint on any count, with fighting between the judges, a couple of decent singers and a load of tone deaf useless wannabees. Great stuff!

The Boot Camp
The bootcamp is an opportunity for the judges to get rid of the contestants that might actually be quite good, in favour of the weird, fat, old or gay ones that make the best telly. The bootcamp'll probably see Simon 'telling someone off' for being irresponsible and getting drunk before they have to sing and latting everyone down. Yawn

The Judges' Home Visits
Hard-grafting! Next comes the home visits. This is where the judges get to show off there homes and remind everyone just how much money they've got (except for that Walsh fella who rents a flat for it cos his place is a hole (and he doesn't want everyone to see his porn stash). Helping the judges in their plight is a bunch of liggers, who cling to the judges in a desperate attempt to get on telly, especially that one that was in the salon, I don't like him much.

The Live Shows
Then comes the live shows. This is the bit I like because you can have a little flutter on who you think's going to win (tip: always go for the fatty to get to the last 3, everyone loves a fatty). This is also the stage of the show where the audience boo at Simon Cowell for telling some mess of a woman she's rubbish, even though she is!

And that's that! fun, tears, laughter and about a million each for the judges. That's what it's all about! Now go and have a bet, (it makes it more interesting)